I know from my experience at Awesomeness Fest, it helped me to unlock the fear and boundaries I was afraid to unlock. I flicked the switch and now after my first speaking engagement about my story, I am so excited to go full steam ahead and share my story more and more.”

Recently I spoke at an event called ‘Inspiring Australia Leadership Summit’ in Sydney. The event is held by ‘Inspiring Australia’, which is a national movement that is set to inspire over 5,000 Australians. 

It was wonderful to be part of such a positive, inspiring day, meeting amazing leaders and individuals who are working on some incredible projects and making a difference in the world.

When I received the invitation to speak at the event, my topic for my speech was about how to turn a passion into a career, focusing on how I turned my passion for living a healthy lifestyle and inspiring others to do so too, into my fitness, wellness and lifestyle show, Feel Good TV. However, I was also asked to speak about a personal story which has made an impact in my life as well. You know, it is really funny how the universe works in mysterious ways… here’s why!

In November last year I went to an event called ‘Awesomeness Fest’ in the Dominican Republic. Whilst I was there I listened to numerous inspiring speakers, but two speakers really helped me to break through the barrier of fear and step forward to share a story which has led me into a new path of teaching and inspiring others for 2014.

Whilst at Awesomeness Fest, Kamal Ravikant spoke about living your truth and Lisa Nichols carried out an activity, which helped me to create an affirmation, which Screen Shot 2014-03-18 at 12.51.01 PMis… ‘I will step forward, be fearless and shine my light!’

Combining the inspiration from Kamal’s talk about living your truth and the affirmation from Lisa Nichols, I realized that for the past 6 years I have been living with unspoken words and I needed to share them.

I came back home to Sydney with a vision that in 2014 I would live my truth, share my story, and be a speaker who can hopefully inspire many women globally to know they are not alone.

Well it has been 3 months since that intention was written and two weeks ago I stepped forward, was fearless and shared my story.

For the very first time in my life, I publicly shared my unspoken words. I shared the truth of what has been a struggle for my husband and I for 6 years. We are on the journey of fertility. For 6 years we have been hoping to conceive and begin a family together and throughout that time our life has not always been smooth sailing. Whilst I love my work and I was really happy doing what I love everyday, I also lived with a feeling of sadness knowing that to start a family wasn’t an easy one for us.

After trying for a while we finally conceived but whilst the news of conceiving is suppose to be an exciting one, my results were shadowed with disappointment at the findings that I had miscarried.

That was 5 years ago and since then I have been from western medicine, to eastern medicine, from acupuncture to herbal medicine, from naturopath appointments to medical treatments, from following peoples opinions of ‘you should just try to ‘relax’’ to ‘Why don’t you just try IVF?’.

This 6 years journey has taken me on an absolute roller coaster ride. Being a very driven, determined woman I always work hard to find out answers. I keep trying and I never give up. However this journey has taught me about something, which is an ‘Unspoken Word’.

People generally don’t talk about infertility. It’s a secret. It’s an unspoken word. It’s discussed at home behind closed doors. It’s something, which is a battle for many couples worldwide. In fact, right now in Australia 1 in 6 Australian couples are suffering from infertility. Throughout my journey of fertility, it has been quite the process.

First of all it started with denial. It started with thoughts of it’s just a timing thing. It’ll happen. We’re young. Then after time, my emotion shifted into shock and realization that ‘okay we may actually have a problem here’.

Around 4 ½ years into the journey of fertility, I was exhausted. Although those of you who know me wouldn’t have known what I was going through because it was an ‘Unspoken Word’. My way of dealing with the pain was to drown myself in my work. I would exercise at the gym. I would surround myself with friends and people constantly and just do anything at all to not think about the pain I was going through. I eventually arrived to a point where I was exhausted, emotional and I was running on this pure adrenaline to try and not think about the pain but deep down I felt really alone.

Screen Shot 2014-03-18 at 12.53.36 PMAt this point, I said to my husband that we need a break from everything in Sydney. We just need to get away together. We decided to go travelling to the amazing Canadian Rockies and little did I know the place of Calgary was going to be the place where my healing journey would begin.

I immersed myself into yoga, pranic healing sessions, tai chi and meditation. I took a break from fitness training and immersed into more Zen activities. I wrote daily in a journal about my experiences, my feelings and I began to learn how to heal myself, how to pick myself up again piece-by-piece and rebuild, how to rebuild my own personal inner love, confidence within to continue on this journey of fertility.

I realized when I was on the healing journey in Canada that I didn’t quite know how to heal from the pain of the realization that falling pregnant for us was not going to be easy.

I didn’t know how to deal with having a miscarriage and the emotions I was feeling. I thought I was stepping forward with new treatments or new theories but the truth was what I really needed to do was go back to the foundation of where the pain and the fear was, and learn how to release that first before I can continue on making decisions on what to do next. I began to live a life in a more conscious arena and in doing this meditation helped me to heal my soul and to create a total new flow in my life.

I also worked one on one with a healing spiritual coach in Canada. I learnt about healing methods to help me on this journey of fertility.

I came back from Canada after 3 months of practice with clarity, with the knowing that this journey of fertility I am not alone. There are many women and couples who go through what we are going through.

The journey of fertility for me has been 6 years. I know for others it may have been longer, or it may be a shorter journey. No matter if you’re journey is 1 year, 6 years or more there is one thing we all share, the yearning for a child, for a family. I want to help other women and couples to know that they’re not alone on this journey. And for too long I let fear hold me back from sharing my truth.

Whilst at Awesomeness Fest last year, I sat in the chair and listened to the inspiring speakers, in particular Kamal Ravikant, and thought to myself ‘I will no longer choose to let fear stay here within me and hold me back’. Instead I choose to let it go and step forward and shine the light, that I know in my heart is needed to help inspire many people.

So, my intention was to share my story. I sat there at Awesomeness Fest and wrote down ‘I want to be an inspiring speaker who can share my story to help women heal’. I remember writing those words down, because I knew I could be the voice which could help many women. At the time though I had no idea how I was going to do it but then the phone call came to me a few months ago with an invitation to speak at the Inspiring Australia Leadership Summit and to share my story.

Screen Shot 2014-03-18 at 12.51.25 PMI have spoken on many occasions but in the lead up to this summit I was so nervous because I knew that this time it was different. This time I was about to step forward and share my truth. And it was an amazing experience. I spoke from the heart, it was me, raw and vulnerable. It took courage to stand there and share the journey of fertility we have been on. After I spoke I was so overwhelmed with the feedback that many others were going through the same situation too.

I know from my experience at Awesomeness Fest, it helped me to unlock the fear and boundaries I was afraid to unlock. I flicked the switch and now after my first speaking engagement about my story, I am so excited to go full steam ahead and share my story more and more.

In doing this, I have decided to not only share my story through speaking engagements but also through a healing circle for women hoping to conceive. This circle is called ‘Sisterhood Into Motherhood’. It is a online monthly healing circle which is a nurturing and nourishing safe space for women to share their experiences, talk to other women going through the same journey or simply to sit, listen and learn ways to release pain, frustration, anger and embrace love, light and happiness.

The Sisterhood into Motherhood healing circle is a global movement with the aim to inspire women to know that they are not alone on this journey of fertility. There are many women just like myself going through the journey of fertility, and for too many years I left it as unspoken words, I felt alone. I don’t want women to have to go through the pain that I went through all alone.

When women to women connect, we have a sense of goddess energy, we are wonderful at supporting each other. Together we can bring our strength and support each other on this journey.

I am so excited to be able to commence the circle and I can’t wait to connect with empowering women globally. Together we can build a sisterhood of support for women going through the journey of fertility, a place where we can unite the hearts of the world and help each other heal.

About JOeyAbout the Author: Joey Toutounji

Joey is a presenter on feelgoodshow.tv and Wellness Specialist who has been in the health, travel and wellness field for over 10 years. A passion for fitness, travel and total wellbeing is paramount to Joey. This is reflected on her personal blog FeelGoodJoey.com where she share’s the importance of leading a healthy, happy, balanced lifestyle to the community. In 2011 Joey was part of the ultimate travel adventure as a contestant on the first series of the Amazing Race Australia. Joey is proud to be the Wellness Ambassador for Technogym Australia and Ambassador for CanTeen, The Australian Organisation for Young People Living with Cancer.

If you’re an Afester who would like to share your personal story, we’d love to hear from you. If you’d like to submit your story for us to share with the Awesomeness Fest Community, email us at events@mindvalley.com.